just wanna share about my feeling... this morning I feel really empty, my boy friend joining a bboy competition and he has to entry the quarantine for 4 days. I feel so bad that he leave me. Just 4 days but it make me feel so sad. I don't know why. Nowadays I was very easily upset with him. I already told my self to don't too much hope, because I know that he was not that type of very understand of woman's feelings guy. And always, when I was hopping maybe he could do for me like that,or buy me that thing,or anything else, and the fact is he never ever do that. So I realized that I was too much hope and when the hopping suddenly come, I always remind my self that 'don't hope too much, don't hope too much, he'll never do that, and that hope only make you more disappointed.'
Yesterday in the train, I suddenly remember the old moment that he said to me don't need to take money from the ATM, I still have money. It means that he don't want me to use my money for my everyday purposes while he still have money to cover me. that simple action make me feel that he really gentle and want me, only me, not my money. nowadays, I don't know why that the negative thought easily come to my mind when he does good things for me. I really hate that. I don't wanna loss someone that really want me, love me,care about me. I hate that negative thought, but sometimes it suddenly come and break my mood and mind. Today I do it again and become bad mood and it often happen to me nowadays. I hate that, I want to change.huh~ God Please Help Me! What I Suppose to do???
